Sharing

For a Brief Moment in Time

One of our neighbours has a children’s playhouse in their front yard and walking past it Asha dashed up on their lawn straight into the playhouse and wouldn’t leave. She was on cloud 9 million inside that thing, grinning and peaking at me and saying in a hushed excited voice, “Come on, Mommy.” She was so cute and happy inside the playhouse I didn’t want to cut her joy short, but I didn’t want the neighbours to be pissed that we were in their yard in the playhouse trespassing. Eventually I had to drag Asha bodily out and do the fireman’s carry I often have to resort to whenever Asha refuses to yield. The whole neighbourhood was subjected to a lot of flailing, shrieking, wailing and screaming while I maintained pokerface status throughout the tantrum until we were home. The struggle was indeed real. Later I got Asha her own backyard playhouse and my mother-in-law and I took about 50 years to build it even though the instructions said it should take 20 minutes. Our playhouse is cute but small and admittedly not as awesome as the neighbour’s, and of course Asha is only minimally interested. So it goes. Sometimes though, Asha does hang around near it and gets inside, and for a brief moment in time, everything is right with the world, and all are satisfied.

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Advice

How Brightly You Shine

The goal is not to be loved and accepted by everyone. The goal is to continually become someone you yourself would admire and respect. Be the person you want to know and meet. Work every day to earn the love and appreciation first from yourself and second from those you enjoy and genuinely care about. Your worth and importance is your prerogative. You determine how beautiful you are. How brightly you shine is up to you.

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TV

The Final 3

The top 3 of season 3 Drag Race UK are so good I’m kind of team all of them. They’re all fantastic queens and they each deserve the crown for different reasons. Suffice to say I’ll be happy for whoever wins because in my books they’re all winners, baby.

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Music

A Day to Sing About


Nothing comes from burning out
Just a flash of light and they’re memories now
Stay here or leave

SWIF7 No Games
POST MALONE I’m Gonna Be
CAZZETTE FEAT. XANDER RAWLINS A Day To Sing About
POINT POINT All This
CAMO & KROOKED Climax
SASHA ALEX SLOAN Hurt
PUSHA T, JEREMIH Paid
KONSHENS Bruk Off Yuh Back
PURI, KILATE TESLA, ARCHITRACKZ POP
BAAUER REACHUPDONTSTOP (Cozway RMX)
ILLUSIONIZE & VISAGE MUSIC Diamonds
PARTYWITHRAY, ZHU Lil Mama
ELLA EYRE, BANX & RANX, KIANA LEDÉ Mama (Just Kiddin Remix)
SPIDERHOUND I Love You Like (Luke Rain & Schuz Remix)
DEPTFORD GOTH Feel Real
MAX COOPER Hope (Parra For Cuva Remix)
CULPRATE Acid Rain
BOOMBOX CARTEL Remember
NAVIGATOR, P SKINNA, MIXMASTER J Ghetto Strugglaz Lullaby (Pharoah, Liondub Remix)
SINJIN HAWKE, ZORA JONES And You Were One
SPIDERHOUND Forgive
SWIF7 Your Gain
GOLDFISH Moonwalk Away
SABREPULSE Banish
EMILY GLASS & DASYCHIRA We Will Find It

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Video

Encounters

WHAT ASHA DOES WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A VEGETABLE

I can’t for the life of me convince this girl to eat healthy. She’ll only eat pizza crust, Mac n Cheese, instant noodles, steamed buns, dumplings, and ice cream. Dylan’s mom calls this the white mush diet. Asha rejects everything else wholesale. I got the bright idea to stir steamed spinach into her Mac n Cheese and this trick worked for two bites, but by the third bite, she was on to me. She chewed very skeptically and then methodically pulled the green bits out from her mouth. She handed the offending bits to me, as if to say, “Not on my watch, bitch” or “Pardon me, madam, but I do believe this bullshit is yours.”

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Vignette

Here We Come

Man, when they said it rains a lot in Vancouver, they weren’t joking. Good thing Asha loves water, she loves jumping in puddles and she loves rain. On our walks, she says, “Water.” And then, “Puddle.” And then, “Rain.” I’m all, “Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious.” Mensa, here we come.

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Event

HopMonk

ill.Gates w Eko Zu tonight at HopMonk Tavern in Sebastopol! Wish I could be there, I love Ian, and of course I love Dylan. People in or near Sebastopol don’t miss this show, it’s going to be good, that’s the truth, actually Dylan played at HopMonk Tavern for our goodbye party when we moved away from San Francisco in 2017, there’s a bit of history for you.

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Advice

Things to Remember

Things to remember:

The past cannot be changed. Opinions do not define your reality. Everyone’s journey is different. Things get better with time. Judgments reveal character. Overthinking leads to sadness. Happiness is found within. Positive thoughts create positive change. Smiles are contagious. Kindness is free. What goes around comes around. You only fail if you quit.

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Event

One Year

Recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary of moving to Vancouver, and while we miss Los Angeles and our friends there, Vancouver is great. Our house and neighbourhood are perfect, ideal for artists, pets and kids. So thankful for this life and especially for my family, for Dylan, Asha, Feather and Daisy.

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Event

This Weekend

ill.Gates ‘The Arrival Tour’ this weekend: Friday November 05 at ELEKTRICITY in Pontiac MI with Rusko! Saturday November 06 at The Green Elephant in Dallas TX with Ahee! These are some dates I wish I could attend. The music’s going to be amazing as ill.Gates, Rusko and Ahee are all brilliant. The venues and promoters are also great. People in or near Pontiac or Dallas, don’t sleep. Shit’s gonna be fire; you’re in for a treat.

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Family

Just Nice to Know

Missing my angel husband, I can’t wait to see him again, even though when he’s home he spends like 99% of his time holed up in the studio, so I never see him anyway, but it’s just nice to know he’s in there. I used to think people who got married and had kids were lame, but now I know that nothing matters more than family, and there’s nothing more majestic than love.

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Advice

What Can You Do

What can you do to make yourself better, and your life better? What can you do to help make this world better, not just for your own sake, but for the sake of everyone? These are the most important questions that you can ask. Because whatever the answers are, that’s what you should be doing. That’s your purpose. That’s where you’ll find meaning.

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Sharing

Sometimes I Wish

Sometimes I wish Asha could stay two forever even though they call it the terrible twos for a reason. She’s so goddamn cute though I’d venture to say I’d take all of the terrible just to be able to keep enjoying the cute. I hope Asha’s just as cute and sweet and beautiful as she gets older but I hope she doesn’t keep throwing random tantrums still by then lol. You’d never know it from these sweet idyllic shots but the whole stroller ride on the way to the park Asha cried and screamed and said, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” despairingly over and over again at top volume which sounds extra loud in our super chill neighbourhood. She was upset because I took off her favourite gold sequins beige tutu dress that she wears literally every day for like weeks now, she refuses to let me take it off, she wails and cries and screams and struggles whenever I’ve attempted to change her clothes, she even demands to sleep in the thing. She barely lets me take the dress off for showers and then instantly needs to have the dress put back on her fucking ASAP. It was cold on the day of these pictures so I put her in her puffy black snowsuit and took the dress off. Asha was outraged. Once we got to the park she was distracted and had fun but then she saw some soccer nets and wanted to crawl under to go places where she couldn’t reach so she got half stuck with her neck and head in the netting, she shouted and cried until I rescued her. Then when it was time to go Asha screamed and wept and resisted and I had to hoist her fireman’s carry over my shoulders and with a poker face calmly slowly bring her back to the stroller and strap her in. Asha screamed and raged and struggled and I kept neutral and calm while everyone either paid us no mind or gave me sympathetic glances. Terrible twos I tell ya. Of course as soon as we were home I had to put Asha’s dress back on her again. Asha grinned and laughed and clapped her hands in delight, her face wet with tears, and so much joyful relief in her eyes. The drama. She loves that damn dress. She calls it her yes.

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