Dialogue

Bad Guy

Girlfriend was having trouble with her guy, always complains about his behaviour, lists his flaws, and describes all the ways he fails to measure up. I said, “Maybe he isn’t the right person for you. You can’t make him be and do what you want. You should be with someone who already is the way you want them to be.” “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” girlfriend says, “I can do better. I deserve better.” Later girlfriend’s all sucking face again with the same guy, apparently the lover’s quarrel ended and they were passionately in love again. Then girlfriend jerks her head in my direction and loudly announces, “Nunich doesn’t like you. She thinks you’re not good enough for me. She thinks I can do better.” “Cunt!” is what my icy stare says. Girlfriend ignores my silent outrage while her insulted boyfriend glares at me. Making me the bad guy, shit. This sort of thing has happened enough times for me to be fucking wary with doling out the love and relationships advice. Because girls don’t want good advice, they won’t listen to it, and they won’t apply it to their lives. Women often don’t actually know what they want. Or they want the impossible, like getting the wrong person to treat them right. Women don’t appreciate good sweet kind nice men, they imagine they want a bad boy to fall in love with them. They want their lives to be exciting. They want to feel special and they want to be lucky. They want to be spoiled, and they want someone to at least seem like they care. They want somebody to hang around and listen to their bullshit, but not to call them on it. It takes a long time for someone to start wanting the right things from the right person, and often they get it all terribly wrong and mess things completely up. Sadly sometimes you have to lose everything in order to recognize that what you had was pretty fucking good. But don’t come to me for opinions and advice if you’re just gonna throw me under the bus. Thanks but I’ll throw myself under the goddamn bus.

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