Last night I stayed up until 3:47 AM and conquered the entirety of Laundry Mountain. I did two loads of laundry, folded, sorted and put everything away, including the piles from three previous loads. I washed and replaced all the bedding, I even did all the ironing. I don’t think in my whole life this has happened ever, let alone in a single day. Funny that on a Friday night this is what pleases me. Quick, call the Feds, there’s a raging party animal on the loose! No but seriously and oh my god for real. I am a hero. Especially with little Asha running around, getting into everything and actively resisting my housecleaning. She shoves me away from wherever I am trying to work and demands I play with her instead. She jumps maniacally upon the bed, throws sheets over her head prompting me to say, “Where is Asha? Where did Asha go?” and I tickle her when I “find” her while she screeches and giggles. She loves to drag everything out from their spots and aggressively shake the clothes as if to say, “Take that! And that! And that!” She basically undoes whatever work I’ve done and laughs about it. She’s so adorable I can’t be mad. All this shit takes forever to do, then you add an agent of chaos like her into the mix and it’s impossible. Which is why my achievement last night is especially glorious. I might actually deserve a medal.