The Only Way

The best leg up in this world is love and encouragement, with a parent’s love you can go far. If you have good parents, be thankful, don’t take that shit for granted. If you are a parent, be the best parent possible to your child, especially if your own parents sucked. Because the only way this world can ever be saved, and the only way this world can ever be worth saving, is if we all do better. Stop complaining about whatever nonsense and bullshit. Stop complaining, stop shifting responsibility to others, stop making excuses. Be better by doing better.


There Will Come

There will be people in your life who will try their hardest to make you as ugly as they are and you must never let them. Sometimes these people might actually be your friends and family, but just because they are friends and family does not always automatically make them right. There will come a time when you must decide both who and what is right for yourself. Sometimes your best self and your best life can’t actually begin until after you’ve made that decision.


Do Your Best

If you want to accomplish something special, original and truly new, you have to be relentlessly unapologetically determined. Be true to yourself, be true to your art, never take it for granted. You don’t have to conform, you can be as raw as you need to be and as raw as you want, but never change who you are. Remember that you can’t please everybody and you shouldn’t even want to. Treat everything like it’s your greatest opportunity. Stay focused. Keep going. Do your best and then do more. Quit fucking around.


How Brightly You Shine

The goal is not to be loved and accepted by everyone. The goal is to continually become someone you yourself would admire and respect. Be the person you want to know and meet. Work every day to earn the love and appreciation first from yourself and second from those you enjoy and genuinely care about. Your worth and importance is your prerogative. You determine how beautiful you are. How brightly you shine is up to you.


And She Walks Away

When she says, “I’m fine,” she is not fine. If she says, “Nothing’s wrong,” everything is. When you’re fighting and she walks away, you must go after her. Everything takes effort, even love. The harder you love, the better love is. You cannot live if you don’t forgive. Everything good is on the other side of apathy and fear. Whatever you are putting off is the only thing that is important. Do what’s hard. Do what scares you. Talk to a stranger. Go somewhere new. Learn another language. Teach yourself an instrument. Take a class. Travel. Read. Turn off the TV. If you’re not ready to help make the world better, then keep quiet, and don’t complain. To stay young, you must stay positive. Bitterness is the same as death. Every day is a new chance to improve. If things get better or if things get worse is up to you.


You Are Here

If you want bigger answers, you have to ask bigger questions, you have to make bigger choices, and you have to take bigger risks. You will lose, but you will also win. You can’t let the universe push you around. It’s your life. It’s up to you to live it.


A Deeper Shade of Green

People wearing green are apparently statistically rated significantly less attractive than people wearing any other colour so ladies if bitches be casing your hot man just dress him in green from head to toe and the whores will puke and run, wholly unaware of all hidden handsomeness. Normally green is considered to be a favourable colour with many positive connotations and is seen as a sign of health and goodness. It’s just not a good idea when it comes to clothes, unless you’re trying to protect your man from whores and get him safely home.



1. Make sure that you look and smell good. Make sure there’s nothing stuck between your teeth, that there’s no gunk in the corners of your eyes, that your hands are washed, that your nose is clean, and that both your body and your breath smell fresh. These basic details of personal hygiene and self-presentation are important and when there’s something wrong in any of these areas, no one might tell you, they might silently be various levels of turned off or grossed out, and you might never learn why or be made aware. It’s your job to take care.
2. Learn new things and hone skills. Practice daily. Become an expert in what you care about in all the areas you like.
3. Develop your own style, in how you dress, how you act, in the art you create and in how you express yourself. Style is who you are and style counts.
4. Volunteer some of your time doing something that matters to you. Donate some of what you have to groups you want to support.
5. Men don’t be assholes and ladies by all means be a bitch. Just don’t overdo it because there is such a thing as being too much of a bitch.
6. If someone needs your help and you can help them, help them.
7. Stop wasting time and stop making excuses. Do good work, do good things, and do it now.
8. Learn what you can forgive, what you must accept and what you have to change. Learn to say I’m sorry and learn to say I love you.
9. Share all you have and all that you are with someone deserving.
10. Don’t harm anyone, not even yourself.
11. Let go of hate. Love deeply.
12. Smile often, laugh a lot.



If you want to accomplish something special, original and truly new, you have to be relentlessly unapologetically determined. Be true to yourself, be true to your art, never take it for granted. You don’t have to conform, you can be as raw as you need to be and as raw as you want, but never change who you are. Remember that you can’t please everybody and you shouldn’t even want to. Treat every moment like it’s your greatest opportunity. Stay focused. Keep going. Do your best. Then do more. Quit fucking around.


Wear Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own experience.

I dispense this advice to you now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. You will not understand this power and beauty until they’ve faded but in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you, how good you really looked, and how wonderful you really were.

Don’t worry about the future. Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4PM on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Do not be reckless with other people’s hearts.
Don’t let others be reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people don’t know at 22 what they want to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds still don’t know.

Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance with enthusiasm and energy on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, same as everybody.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. When you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Be careful whose advice you try, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth…

Mary Schmich


Two Emotions

Men have two emotions: “Hungry” and “Horny.” If you catch him without an erection, he’s looking for lunch. Show up naked at his place with some bacon in your left hand and a beer in your right. You’ll instantly become the perfect girlfriend, mistress, or wife.



You can’t wait around expecting some kind of perfect payoff, where all the loose threads are neatly tied. Remember you are as blind and crazy as everyone else. Do not obsess over your mistakes. You can’t fix everything. Some bad choices you just have to accept. Try and rebuild as best as you can. Accept things for what they are. Say you’re sorry, make amends and move on.