Girlfriend was having trouble with her guy, always complains about his behaviour, lists his flaws, and describes all the ways he fails to measure up. I said, “Maybe he isn’t the right person for you. You can’t make him be and do what you want. You should be with someone who already is the way you want them to be.” “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” girlfriend says, “I can do better. I deserve better.” Later girlfriend’s all sucking face again with the same guy, apparently the lover’s quarrel ended and they were passionately in love again. Then girlfriend jerks her head in my direction and loudly announces, “Nunich doesn’t like you. She thinks you’re not good enough for me. She thinks I can do better.” “Cunt!” is what my icy stare says. Girlfriend ignores my silent outrage while her insulted boyfriend glares at me. Making me the bad guy, shit. This sort of thing has happened enough times for me to be fucking wary with doling out the love and relationships advice. Because girls don’t want good advice, they won’t listen to it, and they won’t apply it to their lives. Women often don’t actually know what they want. Or they want the impossible, like getting the wrong person to treat them right. Women don’t appreciate good sweet kind nice men, they imagine they want a bad boy to fall in love with them. They want their lives to be exciting. They want to feel special and they want to be lucky. They want to be spoiled, and they want someone to at least seem like they care. They want somebody to hang around and listen to their bullshit, but not to call them on it. It takes a long time for someone to start wanting the right things from the right person, and often they get it all terribly wrong and mess things completely up. Sadly sometimes you have to lose everything in order to recognize that what you had was pretty fucking good. But don’t come to me for opinions and advice if you’re just gonna throw me under the bus. Thanks but I’ll throw myself under the goddamn bus.
No one is perfect. We don’t always do the best thing or the right thing. We sometimes do and say hurtful things. But we cannot erase the past. We can only confess what happened and admit to being wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Accept that they happened. Accept that it hurt and that it may still hurt. Acknowledge failure and ask for forgiveness. Love does not keep a record of wrongs, love does not keep score. We can’t erase the past but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday through forgiveness. Forgiveness is the way of love. It is the choice to show mercy.
Fuck racism. Racism is dangerous and stupid and racists are dangerous stupid people. Racism has no place in enlightened societies. Our world is in drastic need of changing and it’s up to us to make that change. It starts with the individual to end with the global. It starts here and now. We can’t afford to wait.
I just learned I have over 75,000 subscribers to my blog, 14,000 of which visit this site daily. I had no idea I had that kind of reach. Thank you for being here. I invite you to peruse my profiles at the other places I frequent online too over at Instagram, Twitter, Soundcloud, Mixcloud and Ello. I’d like to migrate off of Facebook since we all know Facebook sucks balls. Also if you enjoy my writing, DJ sets, pictures, videos and collage art, you can become my patron on Patreon. You can pledge as little as a dollar and you can cancel anytime. Thank you ツ
Asha loves her new Skip Hop Silver Lining Cloud Baby Multi Play Mat and Activity Gym and so do I, it’s of very good and cute design. One of the plush mobile toys though squeaks when squeezed and it was all over for Daisy the moment she noticed. Now that squeaky mobile is all she can think of and although Daisy has a whole basket full of fine squeaky toys it’s the new plush squeaking toy that’s best of all for being forbidden. Now Daisy fetches and brings her own favourite toys and lies in the center of the play mat and I have to remove her whenever I catch her, I’ve even caught Feather once lying on her side all spread out enjoying the new illicit comforts. Feather normally is such a dog’s dog, she’s happy lying on the cold hard floor right at my feet relaxed but guarding mom and baby from the world. Speaking of baby in three days this little cutie turns three months old.
Chief resident spot stealer. Daisy loves my big boof boof soft downy pale green coat so much, all the dogs do, I’m thinking of getting a second one just for them to cozy up in, I feel so badly taking it away from them, the second I take it off, one of them, especially Daisy, already immediately is lying in or on it.
I put hot sauce and mustard on fucking literally everything it drives Dylan mad he’s always lecturing me until I have to remind him that it’s not up to him I can do whatever I want he’s not the boss of me. In other news I just did my first laundry load of tiny little baby clothes and I just about burst into tears it’s all so motherfucking cute. Literally the world’s cutest load of laundry. Can’t wait to put these tiny adorable clothes on an actual baby.
Sometimes I think I should be a serial killer, because historically speaking, Asian women just don’t have the most interesting rap sheet. If I could be the best driver and the most successful serial killer, then I’d really be set. Up the Asian girl ante. As a group we’re a bit too goddamn demure. Too goody around the shoes. Don’t worry, I’d only kill people that deserve it. Gang rapists, paedophiles and animal abusers would be top of my list. I also really dislike litterbugs, people who leave their garbage everywhere, people who don’t pick up after their pets, their children or themselves. And I hate it when people are lazy, selfish or rude, I won’t kill them, but I’ll give them a really strong reprimand.
Jay Jah was telling me about this pregnancy myth where if the woman is craving something and someone doesn’t immediately run out and get it for her, then the baby would be born with a distinctive mark in the shape of whatever it was that the woman was craving and didn’t get. So if she wanted a hot dog and she didn’t get a hot dog then her baby would appear with a large mark that looked like a hot dog and if she wanted pickles and she didn’t get pickles then her baby would be marked with the shape of a pickle. It’s a good thing this old wives’ tale isn’t true otherwise my baby would be born with a giant black cock shape on her forehead.
Since everyone is always asking, I am 42 years old, and I turn 43 in October. My birthdays are October 8 and October 12, yes I have two birthdays. I used to hide my age or lie about it but now I realize that that’s fucking dumb. There’s nothing wrong whatsoever with whatever age you are, what’s wrong is being made to feel embarrassed or ashamed about something as natural and beautiful as growing up.
Now that I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, my favourite things to do are eating and sleeping. I eat food with a ferocious wildness like I haven’t eaten in days and I go, “MMMMMMMMM” loudly and exaggeratedly the whole time. While I’m eating I look around hopeful that everyone wishes they were as lucky as me. I’m also simultaneously drastically looking forward to sleeping. I can’t wait to finish eating so that I can cuddle the dogs and sleep. Then in bed I can barely sleep because I’m lying there shiny-eyed thinking about all the delicious food I’ll eat tomorrow. I’ll list aloud to the dogs all the goddamn yummy stuff that I’m gonna devour. Eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping, on repeat. Look at me now. Excuse me for being so incredibly interesting. Flame on motherfuckers.
In heaven I’m going to eat a pile of donuts and drink a bunch of beer, forever. Get drunk, stuff my fucking face, sit on a cloud and yell at people. “Hey! You! Get off of my cloud.” Also I won’t share. Tell everyone to get their own goddamn donuts and beer. Plus I won’t sing hymns. Fuck that. I might however still write my little stories. Lay down wry vignettes about God, ruthlessly chronicle all his errors and highlight his mistakes. Spend the rest of my time rolling my eyes and smirking.
A girl asked me “do you want to be in my gang” I said “what are the requirements” she said “you have to be a little bit Asian and a little bit crazy” I said “you just 100% described me.” My dentist swears up and down that someone comes into her office that looks exactly like me, she even talks like me and has the same laugh apparently. My dentist had all the dental assistants and the receptionists gather around to see and they murmured agreement. I said listen I don’t know who this bitch is but I’d love to meet her she sounds amazing. “Dissolve” by Liquid Stranger is a wonderful song and so is “Dark Souls” by Eprom.
letgo and Facebook Marketplace are the fucking business. It’s such a rush finding incredible items for an incredible price. I’m basically high from today’s successes. It’s only been a day but I’m already in love with LA. I don’t know why but getting good deals make me delirious. Dylan says it’s because I’m Asian.
My 2016 resolution was “no more blowjobs” but by half past midnight I had a cock in my mouth. That’s probably the funniest headline I’ve seen perhaps ever. I actually love it. It’s important to be a good host but it’s also important to be a good guest. It’s a two-way street. It takes two to tangle but it also takes two to get along. Lastly, I’m going to start calling people hoser. I’m gonna bring hoser back.
Escape the room, if we all did it separately, Dylan, Max and Heather would be the first to escape and I would never get out. To be fair though this time for once I solved a couple of clues and was somewhat useful. Archery games was a lot of fun and turned out to be a good even gruelling workout. Max was the most forceful, Dylan was the meanest, Vince was tactically fluent and I turned out to be both fast and accurate. Dylan injured the most people including himself. We liked this fun family sport so much I think we’ll get the equipment and set up our new place so we can play these games at our loft. The place is so enormous it’ll be perfect for all kinds of craziness like this.
If I had known the positive effects of quitting drinking would be this immediately clear and obvious, I would have quit years ago. I look and feel amazing, better than I have in maybe my whole life. I’m glad I quit smoking for sure, but I’m even happier about the drinking. I do miss drugs though, I’ll admit that. Good thing I’m already so interesting and cool naturally though right, I don’t need that shit I know. But I’m learning it’s not about need. It’s about what you think you need. “Maybe God is either space or gravity,” I said. “Those are my guesses. What are your guesses?” “I don’t guess,” said Dylan.
Pro tip: TroyBoi mixes really well into TroyBoi and What So Not mixes great into What So Not. Dylan says you should never play two tracks by the same artist in a set back to back unless you are that artist. I say pshaw to Dylan. Earlier I was picturing myself pregnant and in my mind I looked absolutely spectacular with my enormous looming belly. You really can’t beat that silhouette. We just watched Julieta and it was wonderful. Pedro Almodóvar makes beautiful films. Next we’ll watch something by Michael Haneke, he’s another director we’ve always liked.