Dialogue

Three Questions

Three questions I always get asked are what do I look like without make up on, how old am I, and what is my sexual orientation. Of the 4 or so billion Asian people on Earth at present currently not wearing make up, I probably look exactly like one of them. Whichever age is the nicest and most awesome age to be, I am that age. Whoever is intelligent, original, brave, beautiful, or cool, I’ll be interested. Sex has nothing to do with it.

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Dialogue

The Friendly Stranger

I told Dylan that overnight my arm got all crooked rammed beneath my head and pillow, lost proper blood circulation, and went horribly to sleep. “Yuck,” I said, “I hate that. It feels real awful, like when I bonk my funny bone. I flung my arm away like it belonged to someone else but the arm could just be flung only so far.” “You know what I do when that happens,” said Dylan, and he made a loose encircling gesture with his hand that I was soon to learn was fairly masturbatory. “It’s called ‘The Friendly Stranger,’” said Dylan defensively when he caught my expression. “I’m surprised you didn’t know that,” he added. I continued to look at Dylan and that look was meant to convey all manner of messages. The friendly stranger. Shit. What planet is this.

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Dialogue

If There Was an Emoticon

Your use of epithet strongly suggests that you missed your calling as a motivational speaker.

I’ve missed many callings. Instead I warm my ass with pensive luxuriousness lying around on my belly on a deck divan in the sunshine drinking mimosas, reading books and texting. And cursing iPads for forcing me back into infancy with plodding and ineffectual experiences like two-fingered typing.

Such a rough existence you lead… just another Californiasian trophy wife on slow roast in the oven of life.

If there was an emoticon for ‘Fuck you’ I’d send it.

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Dialogue

Shit is Awesome

Have been on the deck all afternoon working on my website, reading Swann’s Way, chatting with Dylan and traversing jauntily the length of my sun-drowned backyard universe with oversize white plush bunny slippers upon my feet, big black sunglasses upon my face and I’m wearing a unitard. Needless to say, shit is awesome.

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