Not to toot my own horn but I’m fucking great at giving the husband his haircut. Motherfucker be lucky. Motherfucker looking good.
Introducing Dylan’s fancy fun new do. When the top blonde part isn’t tied off into three small buns, the locks are silky and full and long enough for emo hair flipping. During live streaming yesterday someone seeing Dylan’s hair remarked, “You look like if Donald Trump and Skrillex had a baby.” Not absolutely accurate but mildly funny. Then someone asked if Dylan was part of the Illuminati. Dylan said, “Well, duh. Obviously!”
Yesterday I googled “best colourist for Asian hair near me” and was presented with Yelp’s top suggestions. I called the place that seemed most relevant that could do what I wanted that could see me at once and suddenly I was surrounded by a bunch of Asians. From the stylists to the clients, everybody was Asian. They all seemed startled to see me, I was startled to see them, it was a mutual startling. My stylist as predicted didn’t hide the fact that she was strongly scandalized, perhaps even outraged, by the previous state of my hair, admittedly it was a shocking affair. That’s what I get for thinking I can do everything myself. Seems there’s a limit to my skills set. But look at my beautiful hair now! My hairdresser’s an actual genius. Team Asia straight crushing. If you saw the before picture you would more deeply appreciate the magic achieved. I am over the moon.