They See Me

They see me rollin’ they hatin’

I Like it When

I like it when Dylan smokes weed because it makes him all sweet and shy. He ducks his head like a dog, acts a little bit guilty and tries to make himself smaller. He’s like a 10 year old boy who hasn’t misbehaved but is still worried to be accused of having done something wrong. Sometimes I act all stern just to fuck with him.

LOL

State of the union

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Reasons

When they get to

“Remember, everybody, being a chef is not about making food. It’s about distributing punishments and rewards based on the behaviour of the customer, thank you.”

LOL

The Difference

What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunderpants. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a beer? The bartender says, for you? No charge. Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines. What’s the difference between God and a DJ? At least God knows he’s not a DJ.

LOL

Checkmate

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and met in the lobby where they were bragging about their recent tournament victories. The hotel manager eventually came out and made them leave. He couldn’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

LOL