I asked my roommate where a friend of ours who was visiting had gone and then I answered my own question by saying, “Carl’s right.” Then I corrected myself and said, “Hot Carl.” Next I asked my roommate exactly why Carl is referred to as “Hot Carl.” Eventually I regretted my too casual inquiry into this matter. The first explanation was fine since one of our friends likes Carl and this makes him hot. The second explanation was exceptionally convoluted and involved a lengthy tangent about a bunch of other people and the crazy nicknames they had for their little-legged wiener dogs. The final explanation ultimately was not something I really wanted at all to know so very much about. Apparently it’s some specialty connoisseur type sex move wherein Person A is having hot sex with Person B. Then Person A suddenly stops to take a surprise attack steaming dump upon the unguarded torso of Person B. This regimented series of explicit action is for no discernible reason called a Hot Carl. Right. So there’s that. I’d love to say “to each his own” but that has to be about the dumbest sex move I have ever heard. Sexy Time is over once someone gets the bright idea to abruptly pull a Hot Carl. God. Humans.