1
I asked my wife, “Were do you want to go for our anniversary?”
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
I said, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s how the fight started…

2
I asked my wife to buy me a case of beer.
Instead, she bought herself a jar of cold cream.
I said, “The beer would’ve made you look better than the cold cream.”
And that’s how the fight started…

3
My wife said, “Take me some place expensive!”
So I took her to a gas station.
And that’s how the fight started…

4
My wife and I went out to a restaurant.
The waiter for some reason took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah,” I said, “She can order for herself.”
And that’s how the fight started…

5
My wife stood naked looking into the mirror.
She wasn’t happy with what she saw.
She said, “I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
I said, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And that’s how the fight started…