If There Was an Emoticon

Your use of epithet strongly suggests that you missed your calling as a motivational speaker.

I’ve missed many callings. Instead I warm my ass with pensive luxuriousness lying around on my belly on a deck divan in the sunshine drinking mimosas, reading books and texting. And cursing iPads for forcing me back into infancy with plodding and ineffectual experiences like two-fingered typing.

Such a rough existence you lead… just another Californiasian trophy wife on slow roast in the oven of life.

If there was an emoticon for ‘Fuck you’ I’d send it.


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