Sometimes I wonder why I’m not a lesbian. I guess because as violent, messy, clumsy, clueless, rude and ridiculous as men often are, they can be smart and wonderful, and I do love them, however begrudgingly. Plus if they weren’t in my life, I’d be starved wandering lost and confused surrounded by piles of broken electronics, tightly sealed jars, and large heavy pieces of hard-to-move furniture, locking horns and arguing with a whole host of gossiping complaining frustrated women. On second thought, bring me men.