It’s my birthday

Wednesday was my birthday and I spent it quietly with family and friends. Today it’s my birthday again. Every year I have two birthdays because I was a war refugee, I don’t know my parents, my name, my birthplace or my birthday. Everything is made up. Many people from a similar part of the world during a similar time have a similar story. Now I’m 44 and I’ve never felt or looked better, and I’ve never been healthier or happier. Life is good. Feather, Daisy, Asha and Dylan are the reason. I have to pack for our trip to Vancouver to spend Thanksgiving in Canada with Dylan’s family so I’ll post the rest of these pictures later.


Approaching Nature

There are no absolute truths. We don’t know anything for certain. We must be humble in the way that we approach nature because our opinion counts for nothing in the face of nature. We can be shown to be wrong and we should appreciate every instance when we are wrong because that means we have the chance to learn. We can’t grow without learning and we can’t learn without making mistakes. We must approach nature with love and compassion and with openness. That’s the same way that we must approach ourselves and it’s how we must approach each other.


You Can Never Go Back

You can never go back and make a brand new start but you can always change the ending

ASKEL & ELERE Don’t Let This Go
CAMO & KROOKED Turn Up (The Music)
JAMES BLAKE FEAT. ANDRÉ 3000 Where’s The Catch
ML FEAT. MØ & DJS Lean On (Dillon Francis & Jauz Remix)
ML FEAT. NM & PND Run Up (Wax Motif Remix)
ELIMINATE Weeble Wobble
APASHE & RIOT Fire Inside
SOOM T Summer Day
EMANCIPATOR Eve II (Odesza Remix)


The Hardest Thing

The friends you have have a real impact on who you become. It’s better to have no friends if your friends are bad. The same goes for family. You can divorce your friends and family members, divorce is not only reserved for poor romantic partners. Sometimes it’s better to be alone. It’s harder, it’s lonelier, but sometimes, it’s better. Usually the hardest thing is the best thing because nothing good is ever easy. Good things lose value if you did nothing to deserve them, if you had no hand or part in the fact that they’re good. Good things take work and good things are earned. Don’t forget that.


Life’s Too Good

Me and Asha are watching Jane The Virgin and she is all about it. She’s transfixed, plus she is learning to sit all tucked in against mommy, we are spoon sitting. It’s so fucking great having a baby, she’s such good company. I have someone to do everything with 24-7 and she likes everything I like so far. Plus she cracks me up, she’s a real comedian and she hasn’t even learned to talk yet. She thinks I’m real funny too, I’m always getting her to smile and laugh. Making Asha laugh is one of my favourite pastimes. Seeing her jolly gives me joy. Daisy and Feather too. Shit is running. Hope something bad doesn’t happen, things are good, maybe too good. This is why I’m going out of my way to count my blessings. I’m so glad and grateful.


Man on Stairs

Feather’s got it in her head that she’s got to guard the baby, she’s always lying down or sitting in front of Asha and making sure nobody approaches. She barks her fool head off at any sign of “danger,” anytime someone rings the doorbell or knocks, anytime someone comes down the stairs, (we call this MAN ON STAIRS), she does it to our roommates, she even does it to Dylan, I’m the only one she doesn’t do it to actually. She’s given herself this job, MUST GUARD THE BABY, at all times, at all costs. It’s a tiny bit annoying, but it’s mostly adorable and amazing. Let’s hear it for Feather, who, as far as dogs go, is one of the world’s best. We love you Feather. Daisy too, Daisy has lick mania and Feather has bark tourette’s.


Jingle Bells

I often wander around the house chanting old advertising jingles that have permanently damaged my brain. I’ll suddenly appear before Dylan and in an aggressive singsong remark, “Shopper’s drug mart! Everything you want in a drug store.” Dylan will gaze at me stonily and pretend nothing audible just happened. Later I’ll make another sudden appearance before Dylan and announce, “Fabricland! FABRICLAND.” Again Dylan will maintain an impassivity that is impressively total. When he can’t manage it, I’ll detect within him a mental effort to count his blessings. Sometimes it’s plain he’s come up short. In unrelated but equally compelling news, my sense of direction is shockingly poor. That’s why I call myself a Disoriental.


Daddy’s home

Asha’s so happy Dylan’s home, she’s still asleep with him now, this is the latest she’s ever slept, she’s trying to clock some extra time with daddy. You should see the loving looks she keeps giving him. I was nursing her this morning in bed and she kept pausing to turn and look at Dylan, her eyes sparkling and her whole face shining. She turned her little body towards him and gazed at him a while, perused his elbow, opened her mouth wide and tried to nurse off it. She gave me a little shy side eye knowing that something wasn’t quite right but she hoped for reassurance regardless. It was the cutest.