In heaven I’m going to eat a pile of donuts and drink a bunch of beer, forever. Get drunk, stuff my fucking face, sit on a cloud and yell at people. “Hey! You! Get off of my cloud.” Also I won’t share. Tell everyone to get their own goddamn donuts and beer. Plus I won’t sing hymns. Fuck that. I might however still write my little stories. Lay down wry vignettes about God, ruthlessly chronicle all his errors and highlight his mistakes. Spend the rest of my time rolling my eyes and smirking.