Apologies to anyone who might’ve been triggered by my recently calling all men retards. Fag is another word that can get me in trouble, especially since many of my closest friends are queer, a lot of the best people in the world are homosexual, and some of my straight single male friends might as well be, so much so that I often tease them for it. Like the reason they can’t get girlfriends is because they’re obviously gay. One sensitive straight male friend once stood tragic before me and said, “Nunich, it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel sad, when you say I’m gay and call me a homo in front of my friends.” “You know why it hurts your feelings and makes you feel sad?” I asked. “Because you’re a fucking fag,” I said. “That’s why.”