Family

Small Angels

No matter how tough things sometimes are, and no matter how much worse the world seems to continue to get, my trio of small angels save the day again and again. I am so fortunate to have them. Loving them, being loved by them, there’s nothing worth more, and there’s nothing better. Despite all this sadness, despite all that’s bad, what I feel most in my heart is gratitude.

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Advice

Bearer of Light

Never let a hater ruin your day. Just be thankful you aren’t them, that you don’t have their life and that, however imperfect your life is, yours is better, because you aren’t hate-filled and miserable. The only thing haters have going for them is to somehow affect you, don’t give them that power. Let haters stew in their own hateful juices. Misery loves company but so does happiness and so does love. It’s up to you what happens next, it’s up to you what happens now. Even if the world is falling apart around you, you can be a bearer of light. It’s up to you. Everything is up to you.

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Thoughts

The Magic is You

Once you get to a certain point in your life, people start trying to tell you that magic isn’t real. These people are trying to quell your sense of wonder at the majesty of the world, and you mustn’t let them. Because magic happens all the time. Whenever you see something utterly beautiful in nature, and you take the time to notice it, it’s magic. When you recognize the love you have to give and the love you receive, it’s magic. Magic is in the look and touch and nearness of someone who matters to you. It’s magic even when something sad or terrible happens, because there is magic in the very fact that you care, and that you’re still here. Magic happens when you stand up for what matters. Magic happens when you don’t let anything ever beat you, no matter what. Magic happens when you are part of the force of love. It’s magic, no matter how dim the hope, how slim the chances, how great the cost. Magic happens every time you give, every time you love, and every time that you are strong. The magic only stops when you let it. The magic is in you and it is all around you. Because the magic is you.

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Thoughts

Living in the Light

The world is both light and dark, and darkness is half of everything. You must accept darkness, and yet choose to live in the light. Consciousness is the gift of that choice. Every day, and at every moment, you can make the world darker or brighter. You alone are responsible for that decision. Every day, and at every moment, you deserve either the credit or the blame, depending on what you do, the actions you take, and the choices you make. Darkness and light, at all times, at every point, you have the power to make a real difference, and the responsibility to make the right choice.

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Sharing

Dolly & Mr. Unicorn

Taking Dolly and Mr. Unicorn for a stroll and stopping to smell the flowers along the way. Asha thinks to smell flowers you have to blow on them and then afterwards she makes an exaggeratedly loud “Aaaaaah” sound, much like you do when you take a deep drink of something extremely thirst-quenching after you’ve been thirsty for a while. Then she says, “Mommy too” or, “That was close” or, “Where’s my tail.” Asha’s missing tail is never far from the brain and indeed seems to lead the charge of her thoughts. That and rainbow ice cream. Everything that matters.

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Event

I Cut Myself

I cut the shit out of my finger this morning, spent 3 hours in Urgent Care and got 4 stitches. Now the finger in question is all useless and hurts like a motherfucker, I’m 2 finger typing, it’s uncomfortable, and it blows. Hello Wednesday!

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Music

Bent

Amazing new full length album from ill.Gates, the sixth and maybe the best. Dylan wrote and finished these songs while suffering through and surviving a rough couple of years, during which time he also taught himself how to master his own tracks and bring everything to the next level. The result is this wonderful release. Cover art by Siegmattel Visuals X oracular.io. Click the link to download, stream, listen or purchase. Please share and enjoy シ

BENT

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Family

Every Once in a While

Sundays used to be Family Photo Day but we rarely actually manage this. I like to have Dylan’s stripes done, but this takes a while, and it’s always hard to find the time to do it. Also Dylan really has limited free time in general, so it’s next to impossible to drag him out from the studio when he does, so we never actually have Family Photo Day as often as I’d like. Now we only manage it on special days, like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, and my birthdays. Then when we do take the pictures, it’s always very chaotic, sometimes the weather is bad, and it’s difficult to get everyone looking good and happy and facing the camera with their eyes open. It’s next to impossible to have Asha, Feather and Daisy all looking proper and pleasant. Usually we just take what we can get and be done with it. It doesn’t really work out all that well, but every once in a while it works out beautifully. Regardless, I love our little family.

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Sharing

Off to the Beach

This bathing suit is the only other bathing suit Asha will wear after her baby shark swimsuit which is her favourite. When Asha first saw the mermaid bathing suit she was excited but immediately asked where was the tail. I guess on one of her shows Asha’s learned that mermaids have tails. She said, “Where’s my tail?” When I explained to her that it was just a swimsuit and that there was no tail, Asha cried. Then, in Hawaii, Asha wore her mermaid swimsuit with pride, assured as she was, for some reason, that she would find her mermaid tail at the beach or in the water. I’d say, “Off to the beach!” and Asha’d say, “Find my tail!” I didn’t have the heart to tell Asha that she probably wouldn’t find her tail there, but it was just nice to have her happy and not complaining and looking forward to something. Later, Asha still had her missing mermaid tail on the brain. She looked for it all around the place where we stayed and said, “No, not under bed!” and, “No, not under stool!” and “No, not under chair!” So precious and I was glad that Asha was happy searching for the tail instead of being upset to learn that it wasn’t there.

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Film

Everything Everywhere

Everything Everywhere All At Once

10/10. The perfect finish to Mother’s Day was going to see this film. We absolutely loved it and haven’t laughed that loudly or that much in ages. Even blinked back tears a few times too. Also fantastic to be in a theatre again, the last time was seven months ago, on my birthday. Amazing to have family members who are willing and able to watch Asha a bit so Dylan and I can go on a rare date. Literally everything about this movie is great. It’s in my top ten best films list and Dylan said he believes it’s his favourite film of all time, out of all the films we’ve ever seen. Obviously highly recommending, I’d go see it again in a heartbeat.

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Event

The Best Day

Mother’s Day is the best day of the year, change my mind! Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful mothers. You know who you are. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone who has done, is doing, or wants to do mothering of any kind. Thank you for your service.

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Family

Together at the End

Our trip to Hawaii was a work event for Dylan and a holiday for me and Asha so Dylan spent the entire time working his ass off while Asha and I hung around killing time watching The Circle and spending afternoons at the beach. Next time we must add a couple extra days to the trip so that we can actually spend time together at the end as a family. Dylan worked so hard we barely saw him and never got a family photo in. The only family pictures we got were on our way out at the airport in the Delta Airlines sky lounge VIP. Behold our silly selfies.

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