Family

Being = Having

My mother killed herself when I was not yet 4. I was raised by other people with other families and was moved around often. I wasn’t wanted, supported or loved. I didn’t have a family that was really mine and I’ve been on my own since I was 15 years old. The main reason I had Asha was to give her the mother and the family I wished I had. Having Asha was the best decision I ever made and Asha is the best part of my life so far. Caring for Asha gives me purpose and loving her fills me with joy. Not to sing my own praises, but I am a wonderful mother. I’m a wonderful mother because I’m being the mother I longed for. In being a good mother to Asha, in a way I get to have a good mother too, because on some level, being is the same as having. And so I am the best mother and Asha is the luckiest girl.

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Family

The Girls Got Along

Asha met her second cousin and she was so in love. The girls got along beautifully. Keeva is like the big sister I wish Asha had. Asha wants to play with Keeva every day all the time. It’s too bad Keeva’s family doesn’t live in town. Hopefully they’ll visit again soon and often.

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Family

It Delights Me

It delights me to perhaps an unreasonable degree whenever husband and baby do some twinning. I often try to get Dylan to twin with me but he is utterly resistant, he thinks twinning is lame and that only losers do it, I vehemently disagree. I mean, come on. Is twinning not absolutely wonderful? Don’t they look darling? I can’t even.

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Family

Small Angels

No matter how tough things sometimes are, and no matter how much worse the world seems to continue to get, my trio of small angels save the day again and again. I am so fortunate to have them. Loving them, being loved by them, there’s nothing worth more, and there’s nothing better. Despite all this sadness, despite all that’s bad, what I feel most in my heart is gratitude.

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Family

Every Once in a While

Sundays used to be Family Photo Day but we rarely actually manage this. I like to have Dylan’s stripes done, but this takes a while, and it’s always hard to find the time to do it. Also Dylan really has limited free time in general, so it’s next to impossible to drag him out from the studio when he does, so we never actually have Family Photo Day as often as I’d like. Now we only manage it on special days, like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, and my birthdays. Then when we do take the pictures, it’s always very chaotic, sometimes the weather is bad, and it’s difficult to get everyone looking good and happy and facing the camera with their eyes open. It’s next to impossible to have Asha, Feather and Daisy all looking proper and pleasant. Usually we just take what we can get and be done with it. It doesn’t really work out all that well, but every once in a while it works out beautifully. Regardless, I love our little family.

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Family

Together at the End

Our trip to Hawaii was a work event for Dylan and a holiday for me and Asha so Dylan spent the entire time working his ass off while Asha and I hung around killing time watching The Circle and spending afternoons at the beach. Next time we must add a couple extra days to the trip so that we can actually spend time together at the end as a family. Dylan worked so hard we barely saw him and never got a family photo in. The only family pictures we got were on our way out at the airport in the Delta Airlines sky lounge VIP. Behold our silly selfies.

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