Vignette

Baby Shower

It’s getting hard to shave my vulva, it’s getting hard just to bend and move. Earlier today I was huffing and puffing and all out of breathe just from trying to tie my shoes. Kalikia sweetly got right down there and graciously helped me out. Pregnant lady problems. Also I’m beginning to think about creating my baby registry and planning my baby shower. I said, “I know baby showers can be a bit boring and lame because it’s all such daytime PG good clean fun, it’s got to be an afternoon early evening thing too since I go to bed at like 11PM, plus I don’t smoke, do drugs or drink so it’s tough. I’m thinking sitting around eating snacks and vegan gluten free cake drinking fruit smoothies and shit like just opening gifts playing Balderdash and maybe baby themed Charades would be fun.” “You think baby themed Charades is what’s going to make your baby shower cool,” said Dylan while he tried and failed to keep a straight face. “God damn it,” I said. “Baby themed charades,” Dylan repeated shiny in the eyes full of merriment and barely holding back a guffaw. He’s been ridiculing my baby themed Charades idea all day. Pregnant lady blues. I mean fuck that guy and fuck you too.

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Music

God


“I think God is either space or gravity,” I said. “Those are my guesses. What are your guesses?” “I don’t guess,” said Dylan.

MIGUEL FEAT. TRAVIS SCOTT Sky Walker
CASHMERE CAT, MAJOR LAZER, TORY LANEZ Miss You
TOKiMONSTA Rouge
WHETHAN FEAT. BROODS Be Like You
FLUME FEAT. ISABELLA MANFREDI Trust
HALSEY FEAT. CASHMERE CAT Hopeless
CAMO & KROOKED Honesty
TOKIMONSTA FEAT. SELAH SUE I Wish I Could (Sofi Tukker Remix)
ZHU, BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, TROMBONE SHORTY Hold Up, Wait a Minute
NETSKY FEAT. LOWELL Forget What You Look Like
IAN EDSON Exhale
ALUNAGEORGE FEAT. POPCAAN I’m In Control
FLØRALS Waves
POPCAAN Give Thanks
BUSY SIGNAL Stay So
LSB & KINROSS Roots
PARTY FAVOR & NJOMZA FEAT. FKI 1ST Caskets

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Dialogue

Sometimes

Sometimes I think I should be a serial killer, because historically speaking, Asian women just don’t have the most interesting rap sheet. If I could be the best driver and the most successful serial killer, then I’d really be set. Up the Asian girl ante. As a group we’re a bit too goddamn demure. Too goody around the shoes. Don’t worry, I’d only kill people that deserve it. Gang rapists, paedophiles and animal abusers would be top of my list. I also really dislike litterbugs, people who leave their garbage everywhere, people who don’t pick up after their pets, their children or themselves. And I hate it when people are lazy, selfish or rude, I won’t kill them, but I’ll give them a really strong reprimand.

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Quote

Real Female Power

“Our fear of birth is as elemental as our fear of death. Our society’s medicalized resistance to natural death is mirrored in our medicalized avoidance of natural birth. We treat birth as a dramatic medical emergency because we lack the patience and faith in nature to allow for a natural and individual birth process. We are afraid of the dangers but we are also afraid of the mystery. Our society mistrusts what comes out of women as much as what goes in. It teaches us that we must be augmented in order to function, dishonouring the fact that real female power is nothing less than the power to risk death to bring forth new life.”

Rachel Webster

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Quote

All We Can Do

“I know now that for all our careful planning, no matter how our birth experience turns out, we cannot prepare ourselves for anything or protect ourselves from disappointment and heartache. We cannot anticipate the sheer joy our children will bring, or the way our hearts can open and break because of them. All we can do is choose the people we want beside us through whatever life has in store, take their hands and hold on tight.”

Ann Hood

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Pets

If I Love My Baby

It’s impossible to put into words exactly how much I love Feather and Daisy. My favourite thing is to spend all my time with them, I enjoy them utterly. I love to play with them, feed them, walk them, hug and kiss them, take care of them, I love to make sure they have everything they need and I love to see them happy. If I love my baby even half as much as I love my dogs then that little girl is in for a real treat.

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