Asha Sofía Atari Lane. Light bearer, joy bringer, heart stealer, resident cheeky monkey. Here’s to two beautiful months being alive, I’m looking forward to a lifetime.
Our strongest human need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by someone else, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. We need to be loved by someone who chooses to love us and who sees in us something worth loving. But this kind of love requires dedication and discipline because it is the decision to spend energy and effort to benefit another person, knowing that if their life is enriched by our efforts, we too will find satisfaction, the satisfaction not only of being loved but of loving.
Of all the joy and beauty in living, the greatest of these is in loving and giving. Being alive is truly a pleasure, it’s a pleasure to be a friend, a wife, and a lover. But the greatest pleasure is to be a mother.
Tomorrow is my first Mother’s Day! I spent this morning’s entire dog walk planning and devising. For some reason I’m really excited about Mother’s Day, even more than Valentine’s Day, my two birthdays and Christmas. I guess Mother’s Day is my favourite because it has to do with Asha and I love her so totally, more than anyone and anything, alongside Feather and Daisy and Dylan. My first Mother’s Day. Shit. But I think it should be Mother’s Day every day, forever, until the end of time, what do you think? Too much? Anyway. Happy Mother’s Day to me, and to all you beautiful ladies with kids.
Hyperrealistic larger than life sized portraits in charcoal and graphite on paper by Arinze Stanley
Papercast sculptures by Peng Wei
Yesterday Asha turned six weeks old and these have been six of the best weeks of my whole life. Before Asha my life was fun and fine but now it is far more meaningful and far more beautiful. I didn’t know I could love this deeply or that I could be this happy. I look forward to more of everything.
Yesterday I carried Asha and walked the dogs by myself for the first time. I also gave Asha a bath on my own, these are some real milestones. Next thing you know I’ll learn how to drive and while indoors I’ll be able to tell which way north is. Maybe I’ll even learn how to whistle, snap my fingers and roll my motherfucking r’s. Woah there nelly.
At the height of my pregnancy I weighed 139lbs and now just over two weeks postpartum I weigh 111lbs. My normal weight is about 105lbs. I’m not supposed to physically exert or do any high impact exercise until six weeks after my c-section and I’m still eating as much as I did when I was pregnant so all this rapid weight loss has happened naturally, mostly because I am exclusively breastfeeding. I was told one of the many benefits of breastfeeding is returning to your pre-pregnancy shape more quickly and they’re right. I look and feel great and so does my baby. I basically already have my figure back but with the added bonus that my breasts are fuller and larger. They are also functioning exactly as nature intended in order to perfectly nourish my child. They say breast is best and it’s true. This isn’t just a cliché, it’s a fact and it’s beautiful. Just FYI to anyone else out there on a similar journey.
Love makes my heart beat deeper