Aw how oh my god cute is my goddamned husband. Every time he’s gone I miss him huge, but pretty much the second he’s back, he does a bunch of aggravating things he isn’t even aware of, he doesn’t listen to me at all when I try to talk, he says and does all this loud stupid shit instead. All of this drives me “crazy,” I about wanna kill him at once, like immediately, and I romanticize about the time when he was gone, when I was sweetly missing him. True love kids, there’s the secret, it’s the fucking real deal. When they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” they were kidding, but actually, they weren’t. That said, I can’t wait till this adorable motherfucker is home again, if only so I can brazenly wish he was gone, so that I could go back to the missing.