Thoughts

It’s As They Say

Having a child, raising them, caring for them, being there for them, being responsible for them, requires and promotes patience, flexibility, compassion, kindness, persistence, diligence, sacrifice, forgiveness and love, all things the world always needs more of. Parenthood makes you do more and be more, because you must. Parenthood requires you to become a better person because you have to work harder, care more, and be less selfish. Watching your child grow to become strong and healthy and happy and being a part of that strength and health and happiness is the reward for all the constant challenge and hardness of the work. There is no greater reward. Children are a blessing. Children make you better because you have to be. There is no better motivation and there is no better reason to be. Also you can replace children with animals, other people, the earth, knowledge, justice or art, just as long as you’re caring for and about something deeply and genuinely, beyond yourself, just as long as you have something to live for, something to spend your energy on, something to work towards, something to work hard for and be proud of. We all need something that continues to motivate and inspire us to be better and to do more. Else why be alive if you don’t care about anything and if nothing motivates you to be a better person or to help make things better for yourself and others. There’s no point if you don’t give a shit. And it’s as they say, shit or get off the pot.

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Thoughts

A Part of Me

Anyone that obsessed with patriotism has serious problems. Both extreme patriotism and nationalism are wack as fuck. They mostly just lead to racism and racism is the root cause of many of the worst things one group of people justifies doing to another group of people. Sexism, classism, religious fundamentalism, misogyny and homophobia have all caused their share of evil in the world, but I think racism is the worst. Racism is the thing I hate most about people. Racism is what makes people most hateful. I’d like to think people are better than that but really I’m not so sure. Sometimes I don’t think they are, I don’t think they ever can be, and I don’t think they will ever rise above. There’s also too much corruption, deception, hypocrisy, greed and selfishness in the human heart. There’s a part of me that thinks people will always kind of suck. Maybe people are more bad than they are good and maybe we’ve just got to accept that. It’s a tough pill to swallow, regardless of whether it’s a red pill or blue. No side is better and no side can win. Maybe that’s life. Maybe that’s just how things are. Maybe it’s all mostly worthless. But for some reason I still fucking care and I still want things to be better. I still think we should fight for a better world, even if it’s impossible. I don’t know why but no matter what I still think we’ve got to try. Because I just can’t believe that none of this matters and that it’s all a wash. Human beings need each other but they hate each other and they don’t know how to get along. Therein lies the problem.

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Thoughts

Real Love

Real love is not about making a connection but sustaining it. Real love takes work. The more you work and the harder you work, the better and stronger your love will be. Honour yourselves, honour each other, and honour the fact that it’s the work that makes love real.

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Thoughts

Wearing Masks

The main reason public face maskwearing is so important with Covid-19 has to do with the prevalence of asymptomatic carriers who can still spread the virus to others. This fact makes it difficult to suppress transmission in the community, but if everybody is wearing face masks, that means infected and asymptomatic people are also wearing masks, which can help reduce the amount of virus released into the environment potentially causing infections. So please mask up kids. Our friend Bethany makes these dope handprinted masks that are available at her awesome online shops Well Done Goods and Cyberoptix.

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Thoughts

The World is Both

The world is both light and dark, and darkness is half of everything. You must accept darkness, and yet choose to live in the light. Consciousness is the gift of that choice. Every day, and at every moment, you can make the world darker or brighter. You alone are responsible for that decision. Every day, and at every moment, you deserve either the credit or the blame, depending on what you do, the actions you take, and the choices you make. Darkness and light, at all times, at every point, you have the power to make a real difference, and the responsibility to make the right choice.

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Thoughts

Who Would Have Ever

Throwback to when I was thirteen weeks pregnant with Asha. Who would have ever thought that a year and a half later we would have a beautiful baby girl who would take her first steps on her first birthday in the middle of a pandemic requiring worldwide quarantine and enforced period of social distancing. What a time to be alive. I encourage you all to use this unprecedented situation as an opportunity to spend quality time with your loved ones. This is your chance to learn about each other, appreciate each other and be thankful. Take this opportunity to show love to one another and help each other. Take this opportunity to be creative, be compassionate and learn something new. We can’t always control what happens to us but we can control our reactions. Together we’ve got this. Humanity historically has dealt with worse and pulled through.

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Thoughts

Just Because

Just because another thing is worse doesn’t make something good. There’s always room for improvement and there are many things that should change. Sure, no one and nothing is perfect, but we can all be better, do better, try harder and do more. We are creatures of limitless potential. Our world and our lives are as good as we make it, it’s on us. It’s up to us. But we have to want it and we have to work together.

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Thoughts

Approaching Nature

There are no absolute truths. We don’t know anything for certain. We must be humble in the way that we approach nature because our opinion counts for nothing in the face of nature. We can be shown to be wrong and we should appreciate every instance when we are wrong because that means we have the chance to learn. We can’t grow without learning and we can’t learn without making mistakes. We must approach nature with love and compassion and with openness. That’s the same way that we must approach ourselves and it’s how we must approach each other.

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Thoughts

Life’s Too Good

Me and Asha are watching Jane The Virgin and she is all about it. She’s transfixed, plus she is learning to sit all tucked in against mommy, we are spoon sitting. It’s so fucking great having a baby, she’s such good company. I have someone to do everything with 24-7 and she likes everything I like so far. Plus she cracks me up, she’s a real comedian and she hasn’t even learned to talk yet. She thinks I’m real funny too, I’m always getting her to smile and laugh. Making Asha laugh is one of my favourite pastimes. Seeing her jolly gives me joy. Daisy and Feather too. Shit is running. Hope something bad doesn’t happen, things are good, maybe too good. This is why I’m going out of my way to count my blessings. I’m so glad and grateful.

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Thoughts

The Magic is You

Once you get to a certain point in your life, people start trying to tell you that magic isn’t real. These people are trying to quell your sense of wonder at the majesty of the world, and you mustn’t let them. Because magic happens all the time. Whenever you see something utterly beautiful in nature, and you take the time to notice it, it’s magic. When you recognize the love you have to give and the love you receive, it’s magic. Magic is in the look and touch and nearness of someone who matters to you. It’s magic even when something sad or terrible happens, because there is magic in the very fact that you care, and that you’re still there. Magic happens when you stand up for what matters. Magic happens when you don’t let anything ever beat you, no matter what. Magic happens when you are part of the force of love. It’s magic, no matter how dim the hope, how slim the chances, how great the cost. Magic happens every time you give, every time you love, and every time that you are strong. The magic only stops when you let it. The magic is in you and it is all around you. Because the magic is you.

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Thoughts

Our Strongest Human Need

Our strongest human need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by someone else, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. We need to be loved by someone who chooses to love us and who sees in us something worth loving. But this kind of love requires dedication and discipline because it is the decision to spend energy and effort to benefit another person, knowing that if their life is enriched by our efforts, we too will find satisfaction, the satisfaction not only of being loved but of loving.

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Thoughts

Barely Awake

I thought breastfeeding would be hard and weird or that I would be too self-conscious and embarrassed to really do it. I thought I would give it a go, find it annoying and difficult, say fuck this and head straight to feeding my baby formula. I didn’t expect to actually enjoy breastfeeding or to discover that I’d be good at it. Also Asha is good at latching so we began breastfeeding successfully together unusually fast. Everyone was surprised and impressed by our teamwork, I am breastfeeding all the time and it touches my heart to see how much good it’s doing Asha, how healthy and happy it makes her, how much she’s stoked. I rarely put on make up, I barely comb my hair, I saunter around the house topless in my underwear ready for the next breastfeeding session. I’ve become this focused feral woman intent on feeding my child continuously and naturally, I find it incomparably satisfying. The skin to skin contact during each breastfeeding session is incredibly rejuvenating and beautiful, there’s no nicer or better feeling, it’s a mother and child bond I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’m exhausted, I’m barely awake, the house is a study in chaos, I am still recovering from the surgery and from birth, it hurts to bend and laugh and move, but I’ve never been happier. I am wholly embracing the wonder, challenge and joy of being a mother and I am so completely in love with my baby girl.

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