Ode to a Hairbrush

I bought a hairbrush through Amazon and when I got the box there was a note included which said, “Dear Valued Customer: First, I would like to say thank you so much for purchasing our product. We are a small family-owned business operating here in Canada. We have just launched this product and it has very few reviews. It would be greatly appreciated if you could take the time to offer us a review of your recent purchase. One of the hardest parts of being a small family-owned Canadian Business on Amazon is getting those first sales, as nobody takes the time to leaves us reviews, however, if you could be part of the 1% of people that do leave a review, we would be INCREDIBLY grateful and it would mean the world to us. Thank you.” My word, but what an earnest and politely expressed request. I couldn’t very well ignore it. So even though I am like 99% of the other people who shop through Amazon and don’t leave reviews, this time I endeavoured to be a part of the 1% that do. I said, “This is one fine motherfucking hairbrush. It’s pretty much exactly what I wanted. It’s just the right size, shape and weight. It’s attractive, constructed of good materials, the bristles are just the right length, and they’re just the right amount of soft and firm. This might be the perfect hairbrush. I’m pleased with my purchase. What’s more, I’m pleased to be able to give my support to a small family-owned Canadian business, both by making this purchase, and then taking the time to hammer out this positive review. Time well spent, and brush well bought.” So there you go, my little good deed for the day, and I am proof positive too that, for the most part, goddamn, but Canadians sure are nice.


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