When I have a baby, I’m gonna spend the nine months deep inside a k hole coming out just long enough to smoke cigarettes and drink vodka straight from the bottle. Then I’m gonna head straight for a c-section and tell them to give me like ten epidurals so that I’ll feel zero pain and have to do zero work. Then I’m gonna breastfeed the kid wherever I damn well please and for as long as the damn kid needs it, I don’t give a fuck if he’s seven. And I’m gonna homeschool him and never get him vaccinated not because I’m an anti-vaxxer per say but just to piss people off. I’m hoping my child’s first words will either be “God is dead” or “Go fuck yourself.” Anyway no I’m not being completely serious though I kind of wish I was, and I’m not as angry as I sound, in fact I’m smiling right now. I’m listening to Rage Against The Machine’s self-titled first album at top volume on the PK sound system and it’s awesome. God bless America.