A Certain Regard

The human body is the most profound work of art and potentially our most sacred temple. Physically it is flesh and bones but metaphysically it is constructed of love and light. Our bodies should hold no shame or stigma. We are all beautiful when we regard each other with compassion and see each other with eyes of love.


Snap, Crackle, Pop

Sometimes I wander around the house chanting old advertising jingles that have permanently damaged my brain. I’ll suddenly appear before Dylan and in an aggressive singsong remark, “Shopper’s drug mart! Everything you want in a drug store.” Dylan will gaze at me stonily and pretend nothing audible just happened. Later I’ll make another sudden appearance before Dylan and announce, “Fabricland! FABRICLAND.” Again Dylan will maintain an impassivity that is impressively total. When he can’t manage it, I’ll detect within him a mental effort to count his blessings. Sometimes it’s plain he’s come up short. In unrelated but equally compelling news, my sense of direction is shockingly poor. That’s why I call myself a Disoriental.


Joie de vivre

Dylan and I don’t ever really publicly display our affection so sometimes people don’t even know that we are together. Out at clubs, Dylan spends much of his time socializing, mingling, schmoozing, and chatting to fans, often he leaves me to my own devices. He knows that I can take care of myself and handle business, so he’s not exactly spending all of his time keeping an eagle’s eye guarding and protecting me. Usually shit runs fine but every once in a while I get bothered or harassed by any number of boring clueless desperate annoying persistent aggressive guys.

One time, me and my girls were all dancing and having fun. Suddenly some dude barges into our dance circle and starts drastically imposing himself. Some guys seem to think that if a girl isn’t handcuffed and chained to a man, she isn’t spoken for, and is thus fair game. These guys never seem to consider that the girl in question might not at all be stoked or interested, regardless of her current relationship status.

Anyway so this guy drunkenly and aggressively dances into each of us girls. He dances at each of us in turn, lewdly, suggestively, and unpleasantly. My girlfriends moved quickly from casual amusement to being distressed and upset. We gave each other disrupted and annoyed looks and glared at the guy. The guy kept thrusting into each of us under the apparent assumption that we couldn’t get enough. My girls and I were displeased. Dylan meanwhile was chewing his face off high on ecstasy and dancing like no man alive could be happier or more carefree. “Dylan,” I said to him in an undertone, “That guy is bothering us. Do something.”

It took me ages to get through to Dylan, so complete was his joie de vivre. Finally, I used my foot is being put down now voice, and Dylan snapped to. I explained the situation all over again in the gravest tones. Processing badness and untoward behaviour is hard to do when you’re Dylan, especially when you’re Dylan and you’re high on E.

Finally the husband understood. He puffed up his chest, widened his eyes, and smartly tapped the shoulder of some guy that had nothing at all to do with anything. Shoulder tapped random guy turned toward Dylan. All of us girls stood in a semi-circle watching. Dylan slow motion pointed at each of our vaginas with exaggerated emphasis. After each vagina had been accounted for, Dylan made a flourishing “NO” symbol by balling his hands into fists and crossing his forearms firmly forming a giant X. He accompanied this strong “NO” gesture with a slow single head shake that covered a wide distance from left to right and left again. Innocent random guy gazed at Dylan. His dude what the fuck face was truly great. Then wrongly accused innocent guy walked away.

“Fucking Jesus Christ, Dylan. WRONG GUY,” was what my facial expression tried to say. Dylan meanwhile reentered at once into his state of ecstatic joie de vivre, and returned to dancing, confident in a job well done, like no man living had ever done a job better, and like all life and he himself could hardly be more charming, perfect, pleasing and fun. The confidence of a happy husband. Fuck.


There is a Darkness

There is a darkness inside each of us, that part of ourselves that is irreparably damaged by the hardness of life. We are what we are because of this darkness, or perhaps in spite of it. Some use darkness as a shield to hide behind, others as an excuse to behave unconscionably. But darkness is simply a part of the whole, neither good nor evil, unless you make it so.


Let Them Eat Cake

If people don’t love you for who you are, you should ignore them, or tell them to go fuck themselves. You should never change for somebody else, you should only change because you want to change, because you know you need to change, because you want to be better, and you know you can be better, never because someone’s trying to live your life for you or control you. You should be your biggest threat to yourself, and you must also be your biggest supporter. You are your own worst enemy, and you also gotta be your own best friend. Once you master that shit, everything else is icing. And we all know that icing is great, but icing is worthless without the cake.


The Liatorp

I read an article about a leading psychologist who made troubled couples build Ikea furniture together as an ultimate form of couples therapy. There’s a certain cabinet that’s such a nightmare to assemble it’s been labelled “The Divorce Maker.” I had to laugh picturing all these angry frustrated couples trying to assemble the thing and failing hard, they probably hated each other mere moments into the challenge, on top of the animosity, dissatisfaction and resentment they already felt going in. If that were Dylan and I, shit would go down pretty easy and straightforward. I’d just say, “Sweetheart, darling, illest person of all time. Build this insanity furniture and build it good. Call me over when you’re finished, so I can exclaim over the beautiful efficiency and nimble quickness of your great work.” Then I’d tuck off in a corner somewhere, kick back with a book and a drink, sigh deeply and smile to myself over how nice life is. What people in relationships sometimes forget is that you shouldn’t try to control each other, and you shouldn’t force things. You should shine on as the crazy diamonds that you independently are, and love each other for the very independence of your singular shining. There’s gotta be a heads and a tails, else there can be no quarter, no sunrise can blow your mind if the sun never sets, and anyway both sunrises and sunsets are magnificent.



After a bit of thought and research, I’ve concluded that “Ass N Titties” by DJ Assault might be the greatest song ever written. Lyrically there’s just no candle that can hold to that. “​Beat That Bitch (With a Bat)​”​ by Johnny Dangerous is also a ​strong ​contender alongside certain other tenacious tunes ​such as ​“The Percolator​” by Cajmere and Lil B’s “Wonton Soup.” Thirty on my dick on that court like Spalding​. B​itches suck my dick because I look like JK Rowling. Okay so I don’t know what Lil B looks like but I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t totally resemble JK Rowling. I mean I’m pretty sure out on the streets Lil B has been mistaken for JK Rowling zero times. And, I don’t know, are bitches even flocking to her for purposes of somehow sucking mad dick? I fail to see how any level of resemblance as such would lead to a tsunami of blowjobs​, or even just one, for anyone​. Still though my favourite​ is “Tightest” by Busy Signal. Baby you crotches. Oh my God it strike my cocky like a matches. I’m not saying you burn me. I just think your tight pum pum concern me. Busy indeed​. Finally there’s “Ass Like That” by Eminem. You make my pee-pee go doing-doing-doing. Your honour, no further questions. Sometimes shit just speaks for itself.



If you want to accomplish something special, original and truly new, you have to be relentlessly unapologetically determined. Be true to yourself, be true to your art, never take it for granted. You don’t have to conform, you can be as raw as you need to be and as raw as you want, but never change who you are. Remember that you can’t please everybody and you shouldn’t even want to. Treat every moment like it’s your greatest opportunity. Stay focused. Keep going. Do your best. Then do more. Quit fucking around.


Only a Word

It’s not what we do but how much love we put into our actions. Love is not found it’s made. You have to work hard to gain it and you have to work harder to maintain it. Once you stop trying love starts dying. Remember that love is both a noun and a verb. Without action love is only a word.


Spread Your Light

It’s not really who you love, what matters is that you love. Across the wins, losses, setbacks, gains and games, you must make an effort to love. Be more lovable and more loving. Remember that all the darkness in the world can’t put out the light of a single candle. Spread your light and spread your love. This is how every one of us can help to heal our world.


All This Time

“What’s the longest English word?” I asked Dylan. “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis,” Dylan answered. “How did you know that!” I thundered. “The second longest word is floccinaucinihilipilification,” said Dylan shrugging. I looked at Dylan like he was an actual alien and wondered who in the hell I married. All this time I thought he was just a dj.


Always Sunrise

It is always sunrise somewhere, nothing ever dies at once, rain is always falling, waves are always crashing. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn, on water, on earth, on hills, in gardens, in cities, everywhere, always, as the world turns. The grand show is eternal.

LAPSLEY. Station
BON IVER. Skinny Love
S.C. & T.S.S. Mean Old World
RIHANNA. Stay (Branchez Bootleg)
BEYONCÉ. All Night
ANTHONY B. Where To Turn
ZED’S DEAD. Where Did That Go
GRIZ. For The Love (Naderi Remix)
BIG WILD. When I Get There
BOB & MARCIA. Learning Things About You
SAM COOKE. Somebody’s Gonna Miss Me
H.W. Show Me Love (Big Wild Remix)
GRIMES. Butterfly
BOOPS FEAT. C.C. Police Officer (Jacky Murda Refix)
TOP CAT. Badder Than Them (Jacky Murda Reboot)
GRIZ. Better Than I’ve Ever Been
SAM COOKE. If I Had A Hammer
. Final Song
CHERUB. Doses & Mimosas
AMIR OBÉ. Wish You Well
POST MALONE. White Iverson
DUB FX. Love Me Or Not
J.C. FEAT. W.N. The Harder They Come
ROB VIKTUM. 4-17-1975
FETTY WAP. Trap Queen
N.G. FEAT. S.D. & A.C. Money Haffi Mek
WINSTRONG. Joy of Life
NICKY JAM. El Perdón
S.Q. The Purge [R.C.] (20syl Remix)
MONONOME. Never Leave
I.G. & S.J. Flying (HNGVR + Mudra Remix)
S.J. & T.K. FEAT. F.W. Funny Guy (Kognitif Remix)
GRIMES. Kill V. Maim
F.M. FEAT. SWAE LEE. Unforgettable
S.M. & L’ENTOURLOOP. Dreader Than Dread
POPCAAN. Give Thanks